What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
You Jokes
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
You've got a body inside you--it's called your body bones.