You jokes

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.

How long are you? I

You are the joke.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Me: What are you?

Jake: A muddeasso.

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.

What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!

Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

How do you communicate to the dead?

Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!

What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.

What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.

What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me.

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.