You jokes
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Memes
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?