You jokes
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Memes
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
How bout you Rhydon deez nuts?
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.