You jokes

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget.

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

What two things can you never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!

What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

You people who look at this sight, shame on you, fucking idiots!

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?

They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.

What do you call your mom?

Basement bound.