Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
You Jokes
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
Yo mama is so hairy, when you were born, you got carpet burns!
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
What’s the difference between you and an orphan...
NOTHING!
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!
Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?
Then he read my username and knew.
Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.
I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
