You jokes

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:

"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"

"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."

"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"

"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"

"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.

This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus

Dislike if: - You are horny.