You jokes

One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?

What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.

Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"

He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.

A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake."

The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?

Dead mooves.

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

Yahahlmsyw.

That stand for:

You are has a whole, let me show you why.

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?

What do you call a cow with three legs?

My ex.

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!