You jokes
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”