You Jokes

What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?

Eileen.

What do you call a fat Chinese guy?

A double chinkey.

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Are you an egg, because you crack me up?

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?

A can o' bull.

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)

So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

How do you poop?

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

How do you make Holy Water?

Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"