You jokes
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!