What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Wanna hear a joke ? You
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
what do you call an alligator in a vest
an investigator
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
WHAT WOULD YOU CALL FOUR MEXICANS DROWNING IN A LAKE?
ANSWER: Quatro Cinco
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? You kick his sister in the jaw. Jake
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
