What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
You are the joke
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves??
Russell
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
