You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
roses are red, violets are blue, i am gay, so are you.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
so a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
how do you circumcise a hillbilly? you kick his sister in the jaw
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your flesh was delectable & so was the rest of you.
