You jokes
What’s the difference from me and a gay person? You.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.