So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
You Jokes
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
"Knife to meet you all!"