Yet Jokes

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks? That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”

tell the person next to spell "me". When they do, say, "you forgot the D". They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "not yet". if this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

My friend went to buy so milk, why is she not back yet?

Why did the cop ask the Orphan he was home alone.

The orphan said because my parents have never came back yet because I have none

Why did sally fall off the swing? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally drop a broom? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally go swimming? she didn’t like not having arms Knock knock ́who’s there ́ Not sally, she hasn’t come back yet

Why did the Dinosaur cross the road Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common, they’re yet to be discovered.

So many things are going through my head

How am I not dead yet?

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet... it was pretty fire

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

What did the blonde say when someone says "Your baby is so cute"?

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet it’s four years and counting.

Why can’t I drive? Cuz my dad never showed me how yet

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ''this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ''What do you ca..'' out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ''Why are you laughing I haven't even finished the joke yet''? The blonde replies '' I just got the first joke''.