So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
