Yet Jokes

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water? Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Why did the Dinosaur cross the road Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.