Year jokes
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Memes
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Dear Gwen,
Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!
TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!
BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!
Please comment good or not! Irdc!
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Gwen is a 40-year-old man, I think.
Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?
Dumb Kid: DEADit?
Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!
Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!
Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.