Year Jokes

Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch.

Because it was over 10 years old.

A 28-year old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online. For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: „Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight“

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: „Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?“

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: „Son, if you don't leave, it‘ll bang on your head!“

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg! Atheist: you prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

Hey Jorden Calerendiá ur last name sounds like a sea food shop that i get my fish from. Ur roasting is trash just like u. Boy stop roastin on Addison and Gwen and others u prob 5 years old trying to dis like that. That roasting is like from 1920 get a life.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."

So i was eating this girl out the other day and I GOT AIDS HOW DOES A 9 YEAR OLD GIVE ME AIDS i guess my sister was hanging around the the wrong crowd

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles

not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.

What does an apple company and an orphanage have that are different. Apples actually get picked.... Unlike little Timmy here.... He’s been here for 16 years..

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

My bum hurts

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

in my locality there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel cuz everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didnt want to waste any 14 year old pussy . did he?

A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed- He wakes up under it...

I was out dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.