Writing jokes

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Spell "I cup."

I C U P

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

Eschew obfuscation.

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Oh, never mind, it's pointless.

I sat down and wrote a joke.

What do you call a pointless pencil? Never mind, it’s so pointless.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.