Writing jokes

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Paper.

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

Spell "I cup."

I C U P

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

Eschew obfuscation.

I sat down and wrote a joke.