Writing Jokes

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Oh, never mind, it's pointless.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

Finish the sentence.

Salt and Vi.....

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.

Two sentence horror stories go.

Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?

Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.