Writing jokes

Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!

Spell "I cup."

I C U P

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

I sat down and wrote a joke.

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

Eschew obfuscation.

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

Finish the sentence.

Salt and Vi.....

The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.

Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.

"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."

The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.

"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?

Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.