Writing jokes

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

Eschew obfuscation.

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Oh, never mind, it's pointless.

I sat down and wrote a joke.

What do you call a pointless pencil? Never mind, it’s so pointless.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

Finish the sentence.

Salt and Vi.....

Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

That's okay. There is really no point to it.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.