Writing jokes

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?

To jot down his RAP-SODIES.

"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."

In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.

It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.

It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.

This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.

So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.

The homophobes writing these jokes.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."

Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).

I sat down and wrote a joke.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

Why did the pencil want to kill himself?

He had no point in life.

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

What do you call a pen with no head?

DeCAPitated.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?