Writing jokes

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

Spell "IOUT", no space.

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?

Because Sally wrote the invitations!

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.