Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Work Jokes
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
