Work jokes

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?

They both don’t work.

I C U P works on 88% of people.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

Because he got fired!