Work jokes

On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.

Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?

They both don’t work.

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I C U P works on 88% of people.

If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."