Work jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?

They both don’t work.

I C U P works on 88% of people.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.