My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you do when your dish washer stops working
Hit your wife harder
Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
The cop that is on a 12 o clock shift says hands up
at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher
What do you call a Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel
I used have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting. I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
I did a ton of work today , a SKELE-TON.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
I've done a ton of work today A SKELE-Ton of work
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? -- She was fed up with the hole business.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
Why do cows wear bells? -- Because their horns don't work.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
