Work jokes
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.