Work jokes

His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

His boss told him: "You suck."

And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

XD

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

What do cheetahs wear to work?

They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

Where do you go if you lost a pencil?

Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.

At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.

Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.

A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.

I had to fix his collarbone.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.