What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Why do dwarfs work at tesco?Because every little helps!
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said "Big whale, big whale."
Neona (😃): Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen (😁): I knew it !! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona (😁): He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen (😏): Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona (🙁): Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen (😕): Wait ... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona (😕): No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen (😯): No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona(🤨,🙁,😠): Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen (😟): No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth Neona!
Neona (😔): Gwen please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr.Smith sexual hassults women!!!
Gwen (🙁): He does your not listing.
Neona (🤬): I don't care BITCH!!!!
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak.
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mine?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals, the people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up!
Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...lets see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.
Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Will just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!
Prince will be commeing back in 10 mins here is a joke
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting some one else instead. You've just been a complete jackass towards me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work somethings out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be contined
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
I saw a little kid cry, I wemt up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez I love working at orphans
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"