Wordplay jokes
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.