Wordplay jokes
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.