Wordplay jokes
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.