Wordplay jokes
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
You really put the R in special.