Wordplay jokes
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"