Wordplay jokes
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.