A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Wordplay Jokes
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
So he could drop some WORDPLAY.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Gaykelyu
