I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
What do u call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
the f in orphan stands for family. but there is no f in orphan.
What do you call someone without a body and a nose nobody nose
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
