You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
