They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
