I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
