My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
Bend over and spell run.
What’s the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A PARADE OF RABBITS HOPPING BACKWARDS?
a receding hare-line!!!!!
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
I got udder jokes too.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
