Wordplay jokes

I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

911, what's your emergency?

Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

Well, it's not a living room anymore.

Me: Hangs up.

Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses