Wordplay jokes
Saw (DYM 69).
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
Doin' (DYM 63)?
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
You might think these jokes are plane.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.