Word Jokes

What is another word for a bagel? 🥯 Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩 👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder

Grandpa's last words,why do you have a chain saw

Why isn’t the word orphan spelled with a f instead of ph because that f stands for family and the word orphan doesn’t have a family

I remember my uncles last words: "I don't think were going shooting today."

I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."

What were Michael Jackson's last words? Take me to the children's hospital.

READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is this cat This is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is a busy cat This is a for cat This is forty cat this is seconds cat NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"

MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? MiscaRAGE. That joke never gets old....but neither does the baby...;)

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit”

The principles office smells nice

Of you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange".

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.