Word jokes

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

What is a gay person's favorite book?

The dictionary.

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

Say "crack my finger" backwards.

Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?

I have a little John.