Word jokes
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Poop backwards is poop. 💩
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Old lady.
Old lady who?
I did not know you could yodel!
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
The name Brynley means "burnt wood" lolololol.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Y'know what rhymes with clash, zoom, dang?
Slash, boom, bang, snap.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"