Word Jokes

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

What is another word for a bagel? 🥯

Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖

You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Suicide.

Suicide who?

Suicide you.

The F in orphan stands for family.

Wait, there is no F. (F)

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.