Word

Word jokes

Grandfather

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Husband

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Memes

Sadness

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Class

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Brake

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Bagel

What is another word for a bagel? 🥯

Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖

Teacher

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Grandfather

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

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  • Orphan

    Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.