Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
I have a little John.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
Why isn’t the word orphan spelled with a f instead of ph because that f stands for family and the word orphan doesn’t have a family
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
