Word jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
I have a little John.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
The F in orphan stands for family.
Wait, there is no F. (F)
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"