Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
