Word jokes

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

You know buddy, that is really...

boroning.

Q: What were my son's last words before he died?

A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

[Link to YouTube video]

What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.

Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."

Yeetus.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

What were Princess Diana's last words?

Have you been Dri...?

What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?

Taxi.

weixian

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"