Word jokes

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

What's a current's favorite juice?

Black "current"!

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.

Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?

Palpatine: Slew it!

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Famous last words.

Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

Read this word:

Heroine.

Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?

There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

Asian without "As" is just sin.

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

Q. You know what really bugs me?

A. Insect puns.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?