Word jokes
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Justin.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
Poopy loopy.