Woman jokes
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Big mummy milkers...
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.