Woman jokes

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

Why is a nun called a nun?

'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)

Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.

I told her no.

The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"

"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

Ok, not really racist but still funny.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.

So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.