Woman jokes
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
Women’s rights *bazinga!*
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Alright, what do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Women’s rights.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.