Woman jokes
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Memes
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.