Woman jokes
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.