Woman jokes

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

What’s the difference between football and rape?

Women don’t like football.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Women deserve rights and lefts.

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?