Woman

Woman jokes

Rihanna

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Slur

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

Difference

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Difference

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Ash

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Stroke

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Period

Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period.

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  • Incest

    Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

    Difference

    What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

    You can unscrew a light bulb.

    Rape

    Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

    Man

    Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

    Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

    Knee

    What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

    Their knees.

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  • Suicide

    If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

    Boob

    What did one saggy boob say to the other?

    "We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

    Dildo

    Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

    Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

    Pronoun

    Why do trans women go by she/her?

    Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.