Woman jokes
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Memes
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!