A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
