Woman

Woman Jokes

a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be? In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'Hairy butt', so she named the House hairy butt. The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him. So she stuck her head outside and heard 'crack, so she named the baby crack. After a year or two she lost him so she called the police and said'Help! I looked all over my hairy butt but I couldn't find my little crack.

How do you get away with rape and incest in California? Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

once i told a abortion joke and this woman was like ̈ive had abortion thats offensive ̈ and i was like ̈i just tell jokes i think what you do is much worse ̈

What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month

1

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough. They continued eating for a while. This is really good! the little girl exclaimed. What's this meat! The old lady replied with: well there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping.

a man walks into a bar he see's a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer, he gets on his hands and knees and prays to god out loud, the bar tender says, why are you praying? He says, because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand.

Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany. HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

One day a Chief was talking to his son..."Son," the father said, Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"

There once was a woman who had 10 kids their names where: Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One'Hundred Everyone but Ninety died, she also had 10 kids. These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing, they had him for 2 years. Until he got hit by a car. Only Ninety's kids know about this.