Woman jokes
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Men
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.