Woman jokes

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

Q: What do women and KFC have in common?

A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

What’s another term for a lesbian?

A vagetarian.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

What’s the difference between football and rape?

Women don’t like football.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.