Woman jokes
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier? “Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Feminism.
My brother when he sees a girl.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?