Windows jokes

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

At the drive-thru window:

"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"

"We don't serve soup here!"

"Well, I didn't order any!"

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

What's the difference between a blind man and a window?

The window can see through itself.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

Which room has no doors and no windows?

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"

So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.

Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?

It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.