Will jokes
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.
You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.
Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
your hair line goes so far the dinosaurs will see it
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.