Will jokes

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?

Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.

Foxy is red,

Bonnie is blue,

And Golden Freddy will kill you.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.