I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
why don't we wrestle bears?
the pain is un-bearable
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because my and the gorilla had too much to drink.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo. KId: Why? Dad: I clean up animal s hit at a zoo.
why do cheetahs have spots? Chickenpox!
why can't cheetahs play any games
because they're cheetahs
My grand father had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote. he got stuck in a trap chewed of three of his legs and was still stuck
A bear walks into bar and ask the barkeep "Can i have a grilled...............cheese" and the barkeep asks the bear "Whats with the big pause" the bears says "Well I'm a bear"
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?-They’re a bunch of cheetahs
All my friends live in a forest. its called Aokigahara
Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.
What do you call a bear with no ear? A b
Dawn rises on the Serengeti. And she has no idea as to how she got there.
America , ..Amefrica,... Amfrica, ......Africa......................................
IN AUSTRALIA, MY JOKES ARE HIGH KOALA-TY
