"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Animals are just... so hot!
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.
Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.
Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
