Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife

Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks “why the long face?”. The horse replies saying “My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart.” The bartender responds saying “oh” sympathetically. “sucks to be you!” The bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

Recently I’ve found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn’t find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Q:what’s 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth A:her dead fetus

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,“Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders”

what is more time consuming than children? waiting for your’e wife to go into labor!

What do windows have in common with my wife’s legs? They’re easy to open

Who did Stephen Hawking love more that anyone else?

His Wife, “Eye” who was also bad at running.

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

My wife left me yesterday. I haven’t Talked to the kids in a year

A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old

Julius’s wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

who is steven hawkings wife ? the American siri

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

Why did my wife leave me?

I wish I knew.

Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?

It reminded him of Richard clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife

Why did Stephen hawking die? His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don’t know what she found worse, the fact I was fucking out daughter, or that the clinic have me the fetus.

diabetic wives are like cillit bang. squeeze them a bit and bang! the bed is gone

Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it’s not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana