Why jokes

Divorce

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.

Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.

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  • Orphan

    26 views ·

    A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?

    Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!

    Feminist

    21 views ·

    Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.

    Sally

    53 views ·

    Why did Sally fall dead?

    Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

    Brick

    37 views ·

    What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

    Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

    Fat

    14 views ·

    Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

    "You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

    Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

    Monkey

    4 views ·

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was also dead.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Monkey see, monkey do.

    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was stapled to the first one.

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  • Dark Humor

    27 views ·

    Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

    My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

    I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”