Why jokes

Wheel

Why is the wheel the best invention?

Because it's wheely wheely great!

Baby

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

Orphan

Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.

Road

Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?

Because he rolled over to the other side!

Eagle

Why are eagles 🦅 bald?

Because they don’t wear wigs.

Mom

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

Toddler

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

Dinosaur

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed!

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield!

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

Cow

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

Chinese

Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

Stereotype

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

Bike

Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.

Tampon

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

Frog

Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.

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